Saturday, February 23, 2008

Mausoleum



During the funeral of her mother, a little girl runs off and stumbles across the family mausoleum, the Nomed Family mausoleum (Nomed/Demon, get it? "Yeah, but didn't really want it"). Upon entering the mausoleum, her eyes glow and she fries a cemetery grounds keeper. She opens a the main crypt and releases a demon of sorts. As an adult, she reads in an old family diary that no woman must ever enter the mausoleum. Being that it's already too late for that, her eyes glow on a regular basis which ultimately results in the death of people that cross her path. She seduces a perverted gardener that won't stop hitting on her (she is rather beautiful) and then changes to some demonic entity (actor in really bad monster makeup) and shreds his ass with her six inch claws (very much like today's modern women). Susan's demonic outbursts are becoming more frequent and more freakish. She starts turning into some huge demon-like thing with claws and fangs and eyes of fire (still very much like today's woman). A female friend of Susan's drops by and finds Susan all demoned out, forcing Susan to levitate her over the balcony and causes her chest to literally come apart. A funny and out of place joke was made at this point by the maid (LaWanda Page, Isabelle Sanford)... "I ain't never been this nervous since I been black."). Susan is seeing a psychiatrist, he tries hypnosis to understand Susan's "problem". Under hypnosis, she vamps out, indicating that she is not schizophrenic, it's far worse... demon possession! Susan gets to be a real bitch (even when not demoned out). She also starts to vamp out more frequently and eventually kills her husband which is supposed to be scary but are relentlessly hilarious. Her tits actually turn into fanged demon faces that lunge at people. Supposedly according to family lore, there is a crown of thorns located in the mausoleum that must be placed on the possessed persons (Susan) head. She unleashed this horror as a child, but must now end it as an adult. I considered this the ending, but a brief confusing sequence follows that I've never really been able to figure out. The crown of thorns is place on her head, the demon returns to the mausoleum. Susan's psychiatrist walks up to the mausoleum and speaks to a guy in a monk outfit advising him to not let anyone enter the mausoleum. As the camera pans, we see that the monk is the gardener that Susan hacked up earlier in the film. He laughs hysterically... The End. It looks undoubtedly like the perverted gardener, yet these two characters claimed two different names in the credits. Go figure.

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