Monday, March 10, 2008

The Worm Eaters

     Umgar is a strange little German guy who loves his pet worms. He plays with them, builds them little houses, and seems to be able to communicate with them. Umgar also runs a camping site by a lake. The townspeople (the Mayor mostly) want Umgars' land so that they can dry the lake and build condos, so he hides the deed to the property in the worms' playhouse. 

      Soon some German cutie named Heidi comes along and tries to woo Umgar, despite his eccentricities, because she believes that he has money (which he doesn't). She sees that he has a worm fascination and even keeps some of his worms in the kitchen cooking pots, which she discovers and runs away screaming, only to return a few minutes later a calm collected woman who actually agrees to a spaghetti dinner with Umgar which is filled with worms (like we didn't see that coming). After eating these worms that Umgar has collected, a strange red tide has now filled the lake (the red tide is never explained) Heidi then turns into a half-woman/half-worm creature. 

      Some bitchy wife gets some worms in her room/tent service and soon Heidi has company. Apparently, during the red tide, some worms developed into half men/half worms. By the way, the bottom worm half of these dorks is so obviously fake. They look like people with their legs bound up in trash bags. Anyway, these worm men threaten to take Heidi and the bitchy wife, Umgar still wants them as pets and promises to have three other worm women for them so that they can breed and live happily in the lake. 

     Umgar tricks some young people that have been griping that there are no hot dogs at his camp sight into eating some worm-infested hot dogs. They had squirmy worms all over them, so if these dumb dudes are that blind and stupid, I say they deserve to be turned into mutant worms. 

      The worm men come back to collect their worm women. A funny turn of irony is when the worm men catch Umgar with a worm-baited fishing hook and reel him in from his bed to the beach. Before going into the lake, the worm women get Umgar back by making him eat some of his own worms. Soon he changes to a worm man and is trying desperately to get to the lake before he fries in the sun like so many other worms before him. While crossing the road, a truck runs over him and he gets smushed, the end. 

      This was a very comical movie because it's just so way out there. Though I think the main purpose for making this movie is so that they could have lots of gross close-ups of people eating and slurping on live worms. Chewing them up and letting their green slimy guts run down the sides of their mouths. It's quite obvious that they are actually eating real worms too. Not for everyone, but perfect for Cultarama fans.

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