Monday, December 10, 2007

Orgy of the Dead

     Orgy of the Dead was one of Ed Wood's last films. And if you thought Glen or Glenda or Plan 9 was bad, this farce makes them both look like masterpieces. Towards the end of his life, Ed Wood had already been a raging alcoholic for years and had begun making monster/nudie films. Basically lightweight porn with a vague monster theme. 

      This movie has no plot at all and only the bare bones of a story. A young couple is traveling down the road and runs out of gas near a cemetery. Day instantly becomes night as we move from an outside shot to a studio shot (one of Ed Woods's favorite continuity goofs). They are tied up by a werewolf (you can actually see the actor's whole neck because the mask is too small). 

      The infamously incorrect self-proclaimed psychic (and Ed's favorite drinking buddy) Criswell rises out of a coffin and gives some kind of speech about the creatures of the night, blah, blah, blah. He is obviously reading from a cue card, as his eyes move back and forth. He even moves his head back and forth a little too. It also appears as though he has on enough makeup to be able to carve your initials in it. He is then joined by some Vampira wannabe that looks like Elvira's younger sister, who doesn't seem to have much to offer other than a few meaningless lines and several closeups of her breasts. 

      Throughout the rest of the movie, the captive couple is subjected to striptease after striptease, by heavily endowed females jiggling around to a "spooky" soundtrack. Each girl comes out "dressed" as something different. There's the Voodoo girl, the jungle girl, the skeleton girl, the mummy girl, etc. They come out half-dressed to begin with, and "dance" around until all clothes are a distant memory. One after the other, like Halloween at a strip club. Then it abruptly ends when the couple unties themselves and escapes. I truly believe that there's something out there for everyone, so if you like large-breasted strippers on Halloween... then this film is definitely for you.

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