Sunday, May 2, 2010

Blood Beach

I'll say it up front... this is a really dumb movie. The overall concept isn't that bad, but the execution is ridiculous. The tag line is funny though "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water... you can't get to it." An obvious ripoff from "Jaws". Anyway, the story is pretty simple. A lady is leisurely walking on the beach when she feels a tug at her feet, a scream ensues and before you know it, she gets sucked under the sand by... something. For the most part, she's just considered a missing person. Eventually, enough people get sucked under the sand to warrant police intervention. Unfortunately, they haven't got a clue as to what's going on and presume the disappearances are the work of a serial killer. Meanwhile, more and more people (and even a dog) get sucked under the the sand. A man attempts to rape a woman, she struggles, he fumbles and falls in the sand only to get his prick munched off. A teenager lets her friends bury her in the sand, she starts screaming, they unbury her only to find she has shredded legs. This is the funny irony of this movie... no matter how many people get eaten by the beach, there's always plenty of fun in the sun going on. No one really seems to take the killings and disappearances seriously, for why would you be afraid of the beach, even if there was something under it that likes to eat people (and dogs and penises). Eventually, the dumbass cops investigating this tripe realize that it's not a person and most likely some kind of monster under the sand. They track it down in order to blow it up and we finally get to see the monster, which sorta looks like a venus flytrap on steroids. They detonate their explosives and blow the monster into itty-bitty pieces. Unfortunately, the monster has regenerative qualities, kinda like a starfish. You cut it up into pieces and each piece becomes a separate entity, henceforth blowing the monster into separate pieces creates tons of little monsters. The end. Decently enjoyable piece of crap from the early 1980's.

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