Monday, March 9, 2009

Robot Monster



Wow, what a piece of doggy doo. This movie is a great example of a "so bad, it's good B-film". So bad in fact, that it makes the worst of Ed wood films look positively top drawer. Released in 1953, this movie has all the hallmarks of a 50's sci-fi drama. It's filled with Christian overtones and is riddled with scenes that are so blatantly sexist, that you can't help but laugh to yourself. Anyway, little Johnny pipsqueak gets zapped by a falling star while picnicking with his family in what looks like a barren desert wasteland (probably some small corner of California). Soon, there is a guy in a cheap gorilla costume wearing a diving helmet with antennae, named Ro-Man. Often, just called Roman. Can you feel the preach yet? Ro-Man has conquered all mankind. All of course, except the Brady Bunch which are hiding out in some adobe shanty just outside Ro-man's cave headquarters. Ro-Man often reports to a TV screen boss who constantly bitches at him for not doing his job in completely wiping out the human race. NASA, FBI, CIA, KGB, and all the rest of the world was conquered with ease, but the "Partridge Family Robinson" somehow stops him dead in his tracks. For some reason, because they're a family, Ro-Man gets all soft hearted (what happened to the rest of the world?) Amidst Ro-Mans destruction, a couple gets married, walks off into the desert on they're honeymoon, and makes out in a ditch. Ro-Man kills the husband and kidnaps the wife. Even Ro-Man hits on her. Truly, if I listed all the totally sexist remarks in this movie, I'd be at this damn keyboard for days. The goofs in this movie are the only things rivaling the sexism. Ro-Man goes to tie the girl up, can't do it, gives up, and throws the rope down. Literally two frames later, she's all trussed up with a perfect rope job, complete with square knot. A rocket is shown that already looks like a plastic toy rocket with a sparkler shoved up it's tailpipe, reveals it's special effects secret when a flash goes off and you can see a guy in black holding the rocket and making it "fly". Often we see "dinosaurs" attacking each other. Some are claymation stock footage, and others are alligators or armadillos with dinosaur looking fins and other attachments glued onto them. What this has to do with the story, is anyone's guess. Another funny bit is the intermission the film has... on a movie that's only an hour long. If you really want to laugh at a serious 50's period piece, this film's for you. true B-movie, all the way.

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